feel like my dreams would be better off without me. 

my thoughts. my feelings. 

they're all hold back. 

who is me? what is that tiny piece of my soul, which holds me back? and the most important question: why? 

just let me go before i let everything go. 

i don't want to be this kind of a ghost.

i don't want to live this life. 

i don't want to think.

i want to sink into something deep. something everlasting. something that is so far from me, that i can not even name it. something sad and something crucial. something irreversible. 

so many questions in my head. so many obligations. so many people who i care about. 

i want to cry but there are no tears in my eyes. if i force them, they give me no release. and why should i force them? i was once in this state of mind. it was not pleasant. i do not want to go back. please. God.